Someone Needs A Bath

Skook comes wandering in at 5:30 smelling of cigarettes and dope and beer. Considering that your average sasquatch is supposed to smell like rotten eggs left in the sun I suppose I should be grateful. I’m sure I’ve smelled worse myself some weekend nights back in the day.

Skook usually smells no worse than a big, big shaggy dog. He says that urban sasquatch bathe regularly to disguise their scent. In the wild it’s to a sasquatch’s advantage to smell strongly. It alerts bears to their presence and gives the bear a chance to wander somewhere else. When a bear and a sasquatch run into each other it’s expected that they’ll get into a knockabout. Tradition apparently. But it can be a painful tradition for either species so they do their best to avoid meeting each other in the first place.

That smell is also apparently considered really sexy by sasquatch at mating time. During the rest of the year it alerts individual sasquatch to each other’s presence. In season pheromones give the stench an extra something that identifies the sasquatch as male or female. Urban sasquatch go to the wild to mate.

When I ask him how his night went he just shrugs and smiles and yawns – all at once. It’s a gesture that would be really frightening if I didn’t know better. His mouth is big enough to bite down on a good sized coconut. Or a human head actually.

There’s no point asking any more details from him at that point. When he’s stoned his language skills are worse than useless. I help him roll out his futon. He yawns again and curls down on it. He’s asleep almost immediately.